When befriend…moves to unfriend. How to handle a digital diss.

Nov 17, 2009 by     No Comments    Posted under: Featured, Girls Ministry, Pop Culture, social networking

It’s not something I am proud of, but I did a search for someone that I needed to get in touch with the other day, and I knew that I had been facebook friends with them…but I couldn’t find them in my friends list.  I did another search and it finally clicked—I’ve been unfriended!!! Wow. I’ve heard of this, but it was still something that took me aback.  I found myself spiraling into a series of questions: “What did I do? How can I make this right? How do I respond to them in the real world? ” It was then that I stopped myself on that last question…In the words of my mother: “Whoa Nelly. Settle down there!”   Why was I having such a breakdown over this digital diss? Why was my digital ego so fragile? I realized that it truly is a crazy world when we can sever friendships without a word but merely a click of a button.  So how to we respond as Christians in a digital relationship? As I looked at that term that has developed on facebook for this action of digital dissing (UNFRIEND), I realized that the action in reverse is BEFRIEND.  When I am UNFRIENDED in the real world, my reaction should be to BEFRIEND. We should literally Proverbs 17:17 them.  (A friend loves at all times)  Therefore, when I am UNFRIENDED on facebook, I should still be a friend who loves at all times.  Even though I don’t understand why the unfriending happened…I still have a responsibility to love them—not slander them on facebook, not message them to say “I never liked you anyway”.  I find it very interesting that even The Urban Dictionary figured it out:

The oposite of befriending someone. When you unfriend someone you don’t necessarily become their enemy per say, but you are just no longer their friend, sorta like just distancing yourself from them until you befriend them again.

Well they kinda got it. At least they realized that Befriending is the opposite of Unfriending. So, should you experience a drive-by unfriending…or even if you see it coming…may you respond and teach others to respond as scripture tells us we should. Love at all times! Easier said than done, but hopefully it will be a reminder of what to do if an unfriending becomes a reality for you.

Silly bandz: A Nashville trend? or have you seen this too?

Nov 16, 2009 by     5 Comments    Posted under: Featured, Pop Culture

I’m interested to know if this trend is local or national. The trend: wearing these rubber bracelets that when pulled off of your wrist take on the shape of an animal or symbol. Our girls are going crazy over them and it’s the first trend I’ve seen in a long time that has trickled up to older girls. You can buy them at a teacher store and now they are available in some select stores. So anyone else seeing this? Girls are swapping them like crazy. Some girls have like 60 of these things. Here’s a picture of one that is the shape of a person. I’ve been seeing it since September but now it’s moving to a Beanie Baby collecting level.  Let me hear from you about if this is sweeping your girls ministries as well.  Also if you want to order them:  You can find them here

Princess deconstruction

Nov 13, 2009 by     No Comments    Posted under: Girls Ministry, Pop Culture

Some of my friends in ministry know that I have an on-going dialogue to challenge the princess perception problem that is seeping into our churches. So they sent me the following link deconstructing the Disney Princesses and Princes. I’m putting this up here just for conversation. They were being funny girl leaders (Liz and Amy) asking me to use this in our lifegroup studies but as I started looking at it, it was interesting. As Girls leaders, we need to be clear that as we begin to use the Princess label to our girls, we need to realize that their perception of a princess may be skewed as they reflect on the fairytale princess stories they grew up on. Their stories are very different from the way that the daughter’s of the King of King’s stories should go—don’t you think?

4 free biblestudies on relationships to be used at a weekend retreat.

Nov 12, 2009 by     No Comments    Posted under: Girls Ministry

Here is a free resource we used in our girlsministry to talk about relationships. Hope you find it useful. Free biblestudy retreat

A New moon (Twilight) video cliff note edition.

Nov 4, 2009 by     2 Comments    Posted under: Featured, Moms, Pop Culture, Twilight

Well it’s November. Not only is it “No-shave-mber”, it’s also the month many teenaged girls have been counting down the days for because it holds the release of the new Twilight Saga movie: New Moon.  Yes the anticipation has been building. You will start seeing the Twitter trending include New Moon and New Moon kissing scene on a regular basis.  But what is this movie all about?  What is this whole Team Edward and Team Jacob thing?  Well in this movie, Bella experiences a vampire dumping that sends her reeling into depression.  The things that Bella does to try to gain  closeness to Edward would have me send her to counseling, but that’s not what happens. She develops a friendship with Jacob that helps her limp through the Edwardless days, and begin to get mixed feelings about him as well–BUT there is always the pining for Edward. She literally stops her life and stops hanging out with friends…and in fact—finds that when she is almost killed, she hears Edward in her head.  Many of us have experienced the pain of a relationship ending, but it’s Bella’s way of dealing with it that makes me fearful that girls will allow their future dumpings to cause them to grieve in similar ways instead of finding healthy ways to move forward.  Stephanie Meyers has modeled the storyline to have a Romeo and Juliet-esque type of romance, and so many twi-hards realize this is the sad part of the twilight saga.  But you as a Mom, parent, youth worker, or friend may have opportunity to speak some hope or have some really good conversations about what happens when we do lose those friends or relationships.

What are some positive ways of dealing with that sort of loss? How have you felt like Bella, and how can you protect your heart from finding yourself in a similar sort of grieving?  We’ll have a discussion guide later in the month. Here’s is a cliff notes video synopsis of New Moon through the perspective of a sarcastic girls minister. It’s about 10 minutes but hopefully you will enjoy it.

Girlsminister on the road: A New Moon (Twilight) synopsis from Amy Jo Girardier on Vimeo.