Connection algorithm for helping girls belong

Nov 12, 2011 by Amy-Jo    1 Comment     Posted under: Featured, Girls Ministry, training, volunteers

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a Connection Algorithm like Sheldon’s that would help you connect a girl to the student ministry or a girls lifegroup?
I remember the first day on the job as a girlsminister. Such an algorithm would have been very handy. It was our fall retreat! I was surrounded by cliques of girls and I couldn’t figure out how to get inside of one of those circles. They all seemed to be looking at me—the new girl—and sizing me up. Didn’t they realize I was an adult and the girls minister?! I think I thought there would be instant connection like there was when I worked summers at the large Christian camps. Just because I was camp staffer, I often had students come up and start talking with me about some pretty heavy things.  But, this was not how it was on my first day on the job.  There were some sweet people that tried to come over and introduce themselves but mostly it was cliques. My go to entry line was, “Hey do you guys know where I could get a soda?” and then when the conversation tanked, I’d say, “wow better go look for that soda.” Then on Sundays and Wednesdays there was the hallway that I renamed “The Gauntlet”. It was a horrible hallway because you had to walk down it to get into the sunday school room and lining every square inch of wallspace were groups of girls that weren’t talking to me but to each other. Very intimidating! I’m very thankful for the gauntlet and for that first fall retreat because it reminds me of what it feels like to be new in our student ministry.  It’s scary!
That’s why I worked with some leaders and girls over the years to have a algorithm of sorts or a strategy to receive new girls into our student ministry.  The idea is the 1-2-3 CLICK! method.  Now understand that we don’t just go around saying “hey new girl…this is how we’re going to get you connected in three clicks.” This is just something that I have used to explain to students or leaders to help them understand how to continue reaching out to new people that have been introduced to our student ministry.

Here’s the basic premise:
1. Meet  a girl who is unconnected and introduce her to her peer group.
2. Take her to coffee or introduce her to a peer or leader which will take her to coffee to get to know her.
3. Get her connected to a lifegroup of girls who have hung out with her or introduce her to a relationship building catalyst like our Snowball Girls Retreat.  AND CLICK! She’s in.

I have observed that typically after 3 intentional relationship connections from you the leader—to a healthy peer group—and then to a bonding event or small group with that healthy peer group, the student will click into a place they feel welcomed and known within your student ministry.

As we have grown through the years, it has become imperative to utilize volunteers like our Chris and Debbie who are not only lifegroup leaders on Wednesdays, but also are moms that have journeyed through our student ministry alongside their students. They are the faces on Sunday AM when we have girls walk up to the check-in table to get connected.  On Wednesdays we use our amazing ministry assistants Carol and Julia to connect girls to lifegroups and introduce them to a peer that will “show them the way” for the evening.
In addition to that, we have begun having a SOUP N’ STUDY  at my home on Tuesday evenings. Surprisingly many girls that would not walk into the big student group have shown up at my home to meet girls in a smaller context. That may be something you could add to your connection plan as well.
How do you get girls connected and help them feel safe, loved and known in your student ministry?

4 free biblestudies on relationships to be used at a weekend retreat.

Nov 12, 2009 by     No Comments    Posted under: Girls Ministry

Here is a free resource we used in our girlsministry to talk about relationships. Hope you find it useful. Free biblestudy retreat

Girls Minister on the road: The Twilight Episode

Apr 29, 2009 by     3 Comments    Posted under: Girls Ministry, Moms, Pop Culture, Twilight

Girls Minister on the Road: The Twilight edition pt 1 from Amy Jo Girardier on Vimeo.
This is a brief and not complete synopsis of the twilight book 1 for dads, youth ministers, and moms that don’t have time to read the book. I do encourage you to read the book so you can talk with your daughter or girls in your ministry about it because I think it will allow for some awesome conversations. If you need some insight, go to our twilight discussion guide post and read the post about the twilight discussion for moms and daughters I posted on there to go along with this video. This will just tell you the main plot. I have left out the ushy gushy love scenes and just cut to the meat of the story. Enjoy!

Girls minister takes girls ministry on the road webisode: Episode 2

Apr 28, 2009 by     No Comments    Posted under: Girls Ministry, Girls Ministry Activities, Videos, webisodes

GIRLS MINISTER ON THE ROAD WEBISODE: Episode 2

GIRLS MINISTER ON THE ROAD: Episode 2 from Amy Jo Girardier on Vimeo.

Just an everyday ordinary girls minister who used a gorilla pod to hold a flip cam in her car to record her thoughts and sometimes guest interviews who happen to ride with her.  Don’t worry—it’s a short ride, but maybe just maybe you’ll get a snapshot of what girls ministry is about.

3 things to think about when ministering to girls…

Apr 14, 2009 by     2 Comments    Posted under: Featured, Girls Ministry

I have a lot of lunches and coffees with adults who want to minister to teenaged girls. A lot of time, they haven’t thought through some important things before wanting to jump in. As a girls minister, I have to be protective of not only what curriculum comes through our doors into the lives of these girls but also who we are allowing to nurture, mentor and model Christ to these young ladies. As a result, I meet with each female leader that wants to be involved with the lives of girls. Here are 3 things I wish every person who wants to pour into girls lives would consider and think about before jumping in to serve:
1. What is my motivation to be involved with a teenaged girl or group of teenaged girls?
So often as I hear from people, and I ask the “why” question, I hear their hearts respond with the following answer: “Because I experienced {insert personal pain here}. While God does use the experiences we have had to minister to others, this is not the key place we should seek to pull our motivation from in deciding to walk alongside of someone. Often times if we are ministering out of the overflow of our personal pain, we end up using mentoring times unconsciously as therapy sessions. This doesn’t mean that we have to have to be “wound free” and “baggage free” to minister. It just means we need to have some accountability and mentoring of our own to help check our motivations. It’s okay for a paramedic to arrive on the scene with some deep scars from a situation but for them to arrive on the scene with a bleeding wound would not be allowed. They need to be attended to before they can help other injured persons.
2. Am I willing to journey with a crockpot and leave the microwave?
One of the things that I can’t reiterate enough is the fact that ministry to teen girls is like cooking in a crockpot—it takes time and consistency. So often we think if we just spend a retreat weekend or a camp week with a bunch of girls that we have earned the right to speak into their lives. Remember—they are not microwaves. They may think you are cool and worth getting to know if you spend a camp week with them but they will guard their hearts until they know you are not going anywhere. They want to trust their hearts to a crockpot leader—not a microwave leader.
3. Even Cyndi Lauper had to grow up—I know that “Girls just wanna have fun” but you will be having to model for teenaged girls not only how to have fun but what it looks like to be a Godly woman. You may be their best signpost for what direction their life needs to take. If you are constantly trying to be a teenager again, they won’t think there’s a point in growing up. One of the things I know that is important for the girls I minister to is to invite them to see and hear what a Christian marriage looks like. They still know I can be silly, but they also know that I have responsibilities as a wife and adult. There are boundaries that I have to keep intact as I minister to them. They don’t want me to be just like them—they want to see a snapshot of what it looks like to be down the road a little bit. It’s okay to have fun—but don’t forget that you are the adult.

These are just some things to consider as you begin to think about journeying with girls. I hope these help you sort through some important decisions: What’s my motivation, Am I willing to put in the time, and what am I modeling to girls are all important questions to give thought to before you commit to girls ministry.