When befriend…moves to unfriend. How to handle a digital diss.


It’s not something I am proud of, but I did a search for someone that I needed to get in touch with the other day, and I knew that I had been facebook friends with them…but I couldn’t find them in my friends list.  I did another search and it finally clicked—I’ve been unfriended!!! Wow. I’ve heard of this, but it was still something that took me aback.  I found myself spiraling into a series of questions: “What did I do? How can I make this right? How do I respond to them in the real world? ” It was then that I stopped myself on that last question…In the words of my mother: “Whoa Nelly. Settle down there!”   Why was I having such a breakdown over this digital diss? Why was my digital ego so fragile? I realized that it truly is a crazy world when we can sever friendships without a word but merely a click of a button.  So how to we respond as Christians in a digital relationship? As I looked at that term that has developed on facebook for this action of digital dissing (UNFRIEND), I realized that the action in reverse is BEFRIEND.  When I am UNFRIENDED in the real world, my reaction should be to BEFRIEND. We should literally Proverbs 17:17 them.  (A friend loves at all times)  Therefore, when I am UNFRIENDED on facebook, I should still be a friend who loves at all times.  Even though I don’t understand why the unfriending happened…I still have a responsibility to love them—not slander them on facebook, not message them to say “I never liked you anyway”.  I find it very interesting that even The Urban Dictionary figured it out:

The oposite of befriending someone. When you unfriend someone you don’t necessarily become their enemy per say, but you are just no longer their friend, sorta like just distancing yourself from them until you befriend them again.

Well they kinda got it. At least they realized that Befriending is the opposite of Unfriending. So, should you experience a drive-by unfriending…or even if you see it coming…may you respond and teach others to respond as scripture tells us we should. Love at all times! Easier said than done, but hopefully it will be a reminder of what to do if an unfriending becomes a reality for you.

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