I have a lot of lunches and coffees with adults who want to minister to teenaged girls. A lot of time, they haven’t thought through some important things before wanting to jump in. As a girls minister, I have to be protective of not only what curriculum comes through our doors into the lives of these girls but also who we are allowing to nurture, mentor and model Christ to these young ladies. As a result, I meet with each female leader that wants to be involved with the lives of girls. Here are 3 things I wish every person who wants to pour into girls lives would consider and think about before jumping in to serve:
1. What is my motivation to be involved with a teenaged girl or group of teenaged girls?
So often as I hear from people, and I ask the “why” question, I hear their hearts respond with the following answer: “Because I experienced {insert personal pain here}. While God does use the experiences we have had to minister to others, this is not the key place we should seek to pull our motivation from in deciding to walk alongside of someone. Often times if we are ministering out of the overflow of our personal pain, we end up using mentoring times unconsciously as therapy sessions. This doesn’t mean that we have to have to be “wound free” and “baggage free” to minister. It just means we need to have some accountability and mentoring of our own to help check our motivations. It’s okay for a paramedic to arrive on the scene with some deep scars from a situation but for them to arrive on the scene with a bleeding wound would not be allowed. They need to be attended to before they can help other injured persons.
2. Am I willing to journey with a crockpot and leave the microwave?
One of the things that I can’t reiterate enough is the fact that ministry to teen girls is like cooking in a crockpot—it takes time and consistency. So often we think if we just spend a retreat weekend or a camp week with a bunch of girls that we have earned the right to speak into their lives. Remember—they are not microwaves. They may think you are cool and worth getting to know if you spend a camp week with them but they will guard their hearts until they know you are not going anywhere. They want to trust their hearts to a crockpot leader—not a microwave leader.
3. Even Cyndi Lauper had to grow up—I know that “Girls just wanna have fun” but you will be having to model for teenaged girls not only how to have fun but what it looks like to be a Godly woman. You may be their best signpost for what direction their life needs to take. If you are constantly trying to be a teenager again, they won’t think there’s a point in growing up. One of the things I know that is important for the girls I minister to is to invite them to see and hear what a Christian marriage looks like. They still know I can be silly, but they also know that I have responsibilities as a wife and adult. There are boundaries that I have to keep intact as I minister to them. They don’t want me to be just like them—they want to see a snapshot of what it looks like to be down the road a little bit. It’s okay to have fun—but don’t forget that you are the adult.

These are just some things to consider as you begin to think about journeying with girls. I hope these help you sort through some important decisions: What’s my motivation, Am I willing to put in the time, and what am I modeling to girls are all important questions to give thought to before you commit to girls ministry.