I’m starting my 12th year in girls ministry at Brentwood Baptist this fall. I’ve had the opportunity to work with some great leaders, great volunteers, and great families over the years. Some of those have stayed for a season, a reason and some seem to be in this for a lifetime.

As I continue serving, I recognize that some have moved on from ministry due to stress or burnout. I’ve recognized even in deeply loved friends who serve in other ministries that they have moved from stress to burnout. It’s so sad to me because it didn’t have to be their story. I have watched stress and burnout cause bright-eyed, passionate people forget a call on their lives and settle for something less than what they were created for just because they didn’t set boundaries…or know how to pace themselves.

I read the below quote from the Dr. Arch Hart, author of Stressed or Depressed (2005, with daughter Dr. Catherine Hart Weber)

Dr. Hart says that there’s a clear distinction between the emotions and feelings associated with stress and those linked to burnout. Here are a few of his insights:

Stress is over engagement; burnout is disengagement.
Stress results in over reacting; burnout results in lack of emotion.
Stress affects our physical energy; burnout affects our motivation and drive.
Stress makes a person tired; burnout makes a person feel hopeless.
Stress produces anxiety disorders like panic and phobias; burnout produces paranoia, isolation, and feelings of worthlessness.

What do you do to handle the stress so it doesn’t lead to burnout?  Don’t swallow it.  Have a plan to surrender it and to take care of your soul regularly.  My church requires we take a day a month for soul care and 5 weeks away every 5 years.  I’ve been able to have a soul care retreat with my discipleship team and last week came off of a ministerial retreat with our church.  I was so thankful for the interruption of my schedule to rest.  I came into the soul care retreat with a terrible cold.  Always a red flag that I’m pushing my body past it’s limits.  I needed time for my soul to catch up with my body.  I know I’m not the only one that needs regular soul care.  So…how bought you?

What’s your plan? Go ahead…get it on the calendar. You have my permission to stop running and rest.   So…Be still. Remember you are not God.  It’s important you remember that–regularly.

Click for further reading on more ways to connect with your daughter.

Here is an intro video from the Leader Kit of Faithful One. Help us get the word out about this resource which comes out May 1st.  #faithfulone

If you’ve been following Girlsminister.com for awhile, you know that Snapchat is one app that we are not a fan of. The rise in fame of this app has been because of it’s claim to send video or photo snaps to friends or strangers that self destruct and therefore are erased. In talking with students in particular, I have always been clear that no matter what an app or tech is stating regarding it’s ability to “delete” or “erase” something you digitally transfer…there is a way to retrieve it. Therefore, we have a lot of teens and young adults that are finding out the hard way that history cannot be erased.
appadvice.com just released an article that reinforces this fact for Snapchat. Just another reason to apply some filters when using technology like snapchat. If you want whatever you are sending to destruct after so many seconds…take caution that the only that that might destruct is your reputation online. If you don’t want something to be traced or remain after you post/transmit it…then you most likely should not be engaging in that activity. Read below for the update on the security breach on snapchat.

Snapchat has had an interesting year, purportedly receiving acquisition offers from the likes of Facebook and Google while fighting off controversies surrounding the service’s security. Now, in a new report research firm Gibson Security explains that Snapchat still isn’t secure; in fact, users’ phone numbers can even be exposed using one particular exploit, the report notes.

The full disclosure is included in a document which reached us from Boy Genius Report, and in a subsequent interview with Business Insider the folks at Gibson Security provide more information on the state of Snapchat. The research firm actually revealed Snapchat’s phone number hack, which allows a hacker to obtain another user’s phone number, four months ago; despite receiving a handful of updates since then, Snapchat is still vulnerable to many of the exploits outlined in Gibson Security’s first disclosure, the firm notes.

Gibson Security told Business Insider:

Given that it’s been around four months since our last Snapchat release, we figured we’d do a refresher on the latest version, and see which of the released exploits had been fixed (full disclosure: none of them). We [hope] that Snapchat audits their code and improves how security and bugs are handled in the company.
Back in March, we heard that teens in New Jersey had shared images using Snapchat only to find that the photographs subsequently appeared on Instagram; in iOS 7, it was possible to “snap” screenshots of Snapchat-sent images without the sender knowing, however this was fixed in a subsequent update.

Snapchat went on to reveal that it manually retrieves Snapchat-sent media at the request of law enforcement agencies, and an app called SnapHack Pro also made it possible for users to easily save images sent using Snapchat to their iDevice.

Click the below link for the source of the article posted on appadvice.com
http://appadvice.com/appnn/2013/12/researchers-claim-snapchat-still-isnt-secure-security-flaw-exposes-users-phone-numbers

This post was originally published in January 2011. I dug up this post for a friend and thought it may be helpful to others.

Today I was reading Read Ephesians 4:12.

11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers,12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up

“Equipping” is the translation of a Greek word used in New Testament times for mending nets, setting a bone, and realizing a purpose. It means to “put right”.

As girls ministers, we have all sorts of conversations with girls and leaders. Sometimes you walk away from a conversation encouraging a girl to pursue God or to be all that God is calling her to be. Sometimes you get to help her with some faith questions. (It’s always fun when they ask about “the nephilim” in Genesis 6.) Then there are the times when you may have to confront an area of immaturity. These are not easy conversations to have. I had to have a couple of those conversations this week. And I was reminded today that I am called to those conversations too. I’m called to equip as if I were a doctor and I saw a broken bone. I would not ignore it. I would not just give pain medicine. I would need to align the bones and set it in a cast so that it mends and grows stronger. Do not be afraid of those conversations where a student may need you to speak into their life regarding various immaturities. And just like a doctor would be careful with the broken bone, we too must take special care with these students we are entering into equipping conversations with.

Proverbs 20:25
The Message (MSG) 25 An impulsive vow is a trap; later you’ll wish you could get out of it.

Marriage is an amazing gift! But all these pinterests and instagrams of weddings make people think they want that and need that right now! Ushy Gushy feelings, friends getting engaged, and glittery diamonds are not good reasons to say , “I do”.
Guard your heart! Don’t microwave the relationship and say/do things before they need to be done. Allow your Christ-centered relationship to blossom under His timing and purposes.

I absolutely love this scene with young John Cusack in Say Anything. Unfortunately, Lloyd didn’t have a mentor to help him sort out his pretty shaky plan. “Hanging with Diane”, isn’t exactly what he needs to do with his life. What I would’ve done to have taken Diane and Lloyd by the hand and journey with them during this time in their life. There might not have been a really cool BOOMBOX scene in the movie if I had, but they would’ve realized their purpose wasn’t in finding each other.

I am in the precious point in ministry where I get to see students who were in middle school, all grown to their twenties and thinking about that person they want to spend the rest of their life with or what career path they should be on. The problem is, that sometimes they sound a little bit like Lloyd.  It’s in these moments that I wish I was in a comic book so I could “THWACK” them back to reality. Over the last year, I realized that as much as I would like to spare them the pain of inexperience, I can’t. God “THWACKED” me last week, as I talked with Him about some of the young and the restless that I’ve been journeying with of recent. My role in their life, as they’ve invited me in to mentor or “sister” them, is to first PRAY for them. My role is not to share my experiences first and foremost. My role is not to mock them as they take wrong steps. (Although believe me, this is very hard sometimes to not say, “ARE YOU STINKING KIDDING ME?!)

I want to talk to Jesus about them more than I talk about me to them.

So that is what I am committing to do specifically this week. PRAY first and pray with. I also want to call their attention to where I am seeing God at work in their lives, and direct them to cling to Him first and foremost. The frustrating part is when I see them derail and take things into their own hands at such a crucial time in their lives. However, that’s where it leads me back to PRAY. So just some reminders as you mentor those who come into your life. And if this doesn’t work…go get your boombox and stand outside their window. Just kidding. Didn’t know if you stayed to read the whole thing. Thanks 🙂

NEXT STEPS:

So you saw the movie, CONGRATS! We’re so glad that you got to be a part of the Grace Unplugged experience. What are you going to do with the story? LUKE 15:32 reads, “But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” (HSCB)

Grace unplugged is an everyman story because every man is a sinner, being sought by the amazing love of God intent on redeeming people. So for you…what are the next steps?

Ask yourself what resonated about the movie for you?

Which character did you most find yourself aligned with?

Grace Trey…A girl who is seeking for purpose, identity, and significance apart from Christ

Quentin…Grace’s intriguing guy friend who knows who he is in Christ and is wanting that for his friend who is lost

Rachel…Grace’s best friend who sticks by her friend’s side but longs for her to come “home”

—–Who are you in this film? Or do you know someone that is like Grace?

How can you impact your friendships with what you saw in grace unplugged?

1. Pray for your friends who have not developed that authentic relationship with Christ.

2. Talk with your friends like Quentin did. But recognize that he was first a friend before he called things out in Grace.

3. Be present in your friends life. Quentin hung out with Grace in such a way that she saw something different in him and then in her times with God she began to seek after His Kingdom instead of her own.

How can you impact your relationships with your family with what you saw in grace unplugged?

1. We know its hard to be in families but God designed them as a gift for us to have people to journey with and love. Sometimes we are in families that are broken or are tough. You may need to talk with someone about the difficult times you are having with your family. Maybe tonight you became aware of the longing for a family reunion like Grace had. Talk with your girls minister or lifegroup leader to begin praying about those relationships.

2. Talk with your father or mother or siblings. Make a date to hang out and talk. Or maybe, you are like Grace and her dad and you can’t verbalize your need for each other. They communicated most strongly through playing guitar together. Write a text or a note. Start with something little to let the other people in your family know you love them. It will make a huge impact.

We want to know what you learned from the film and we want this to be a place to share and support you! SHARE in the comments below or email AGirardier@brentwoodbaptist.com.

Enjoy some free movie downloads about grace unplugged. Get the word out about the movie on your social media. Let everyone know how much you enjoyed it!

FREE MOVIE DOWNLOADS

If you are a student at Brentwood Baptist, and God has placed a group of friends on your heart to be a Quentin to…then click the link below and let’s begin praying for that group.

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Own it! Discussion guide to use with Own it! book

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Blessed to be a part of The Relationship series with Kairos. I was asked to teach on “what we want to say to our daughters”. Thought I would make this available to my girlsminister.com friends.

https://vimeo.com/74873277

Kairos, September 17, 2013 from Kairos on Vimeo.