Momentum vs stepping stones…

 

Definition of momentum: the impetus and driving force gained by the development of a process or course of events.

Our pastor just celebrated 20 years of ministry at the same church this past Sunday. It was a blessing to share in the story that celebrated his consistent ministry at the same place. It made me look back on the journey that God has been taking me on so far. In October I will begin year 10 of serving as girls minister at Brentwood Baptist. I had no idea that I would still be here at Brentwood Baptist almost 10 years after I started. I’m so glad that I’ve been able to see what girls ministry looks like at the same place for this many years. I can only imagine the momentum that people like my pastor can experience as they’ve journeyed with our congregation for 20 years! For those of you that have just peeled into your first days, months, or years of working with girls whether in a ministerial role, director role, or volunteer role, I wanted to share some things that I’ve learned in hopes that it will be an encouragement for you.

1. There will be hard days.
That may not seem encouraging but hopefully it reminds you that you are not alone in this journey. Ministry to girls and their families can be hard. If you heard that it’s all about drinking coffee and being the coolest person in the lives of teenaged girls—well someone gave you the wrong job description. Those tough times may come with girls, with parents, with volunteers, with your staff, or even with yourself—but they do not last.

2. Develop a prayer team
Make sure you have a group of people that you trust to truly pray for you. Pick a few from your church, but choose people that know you apart from the ministry. It allows you to share things that you may be required to be guarded about (not confidential items with students or families, but regarding your struggles and pains).

3. Have a mentor.
Always be willing to learn. I have known people that have asked me to mentor them, but when it came down to it, they were not very teachable. Continue to learn as you journey down this road of girls ministry. I’m still learning tons so trust me, you don’t know it all.

4. Stop looking around at what other people are doing.
I know it gets distracting and you hear that so and so just had this cool gig or this girls minister just got asked to do this, but you are not called to be them at their place of ministry. God is at work in you where you are, so be present there. You’ll miss you’re own story if you’re not careful.

5. Boundaries.
Make sure you have boundaries in place so that you are able to be refilled and away from girls ministry sometime during the week. This is important to your health but also it is a weekly reminder that the world keeps spinning without you.

6.Keep thirsting for God’s word for yourself.
Don’t just be a straw that transfers God’s truth to another. Make sure you are soaking up God’s word for yourself.

7.Take a spiritual prayer retreat on regular basis
Our pastor has made it mandatory that our ministers take spiritual prayer retreats regularly. He recognizes the necessity of such days in the life of those who give their lives away daily. You need to have days where you don’t work on girls ministry. Days where you don’t meet with people. Days when you only spend completely in communion with God. Sometimes we can trick ourselves into thinking our value and identity comes from what we do and not from whose child we are. It’s such an important time, and ironically it’s a day that often gets neglected if it’s not scheduled.

8. Begin to look at your place in ministry as a crockpot, not a microwave.
So often, we want to see results now. But what if I told you that serving alongside the same people for a considerable time brings richness that you would never know if you just zapped the experience with a microwave. Sometimes we are looking for the next big thing and we’ve been taught that bigger is better or “moving up” is the best thing. Sometimes you may be called to “stay” in a place for a long while and if that’s the case, let me assure you that there is a momentum that occurs when you are willing to say no to stepping stones, and yes to digging roots. Some people don’t have this calling, but if you do—-it will be worth the wait.

I’m sure there are so many other things I could share that I’ve learned, but those are top of mind tonight. I’m excited to see what happens as I continue to journey with these girls and their families over the next several years. I continue to learn new things on this journey. For example, we just found out we’re expecting! So I soon will be able to minister as a mom and I’m delighted to see how having my own child adds a richness to the ministry God has called me to. Should be a fun beginning to a new decade! What about you? What encouragement do you have for those who are just beginning this journey?

Girls Ministry case study #1: What should you do?

This past week I had a great conversation with a mom regarding her daughter. Even though I had not talked with this mom before regarding this particular situation, the conversation itself is one I’ve had several times before with different moms. I thought it might be helpful to walk you through a case study of this popular conversation.

The conversation may contain this phrase:
My daughter doesn’t want to go to ___________________
(a) church
(b) her small group
(c) the retreat or event

So what do you do as a girls minister/ volunteer?
Ask this question:
Have you noticed any changes in her relationships?
Are there any girls that she used to hang out with and now she doesn’t?
Has she mentioned any experiences that may have caused her to feel less confident?

If they answer yes to any of the above questions, then it’s possible that she has had a friendship hierachy tornado hit her life. It’s a part of girl world life. If she hasn’t had it happen yet, it’s probably coming.
What’s a hierachy? The definition is as follows: A hierarchy (Greek: hierarchia from hierarches, “leader of sacred rites”) is an arrangement of items (objects, names, values, categories, etc.) in which the items are represented as being “above,” “below,” or “at the same level as” one another.
So what does this mean in girl world? It means that what was at the same level as the girl has either become more important or less important. Or the girl herself has dropped or risen in the hiearchy herself.

When I was in middle school, I had a group of nine girl friends. We would sit together at lunch and always attend every social gathering together as a clump. But if you dug deep enough you would realize that there was a hierachy even in our clump. And sometimes I came home from school excited because I was in the “inner circle”, and other times I came home discouraged because it was my turn to be the odd girl out. My mom says it was like clockwork when it was my turn to be out of the inner loop. I didn’t see it, but she did. My mom did a great job of not meddling but calling out things in my friends that she thought were good, and when I got hurt or treated poorly, she would ask “do you think that was something you deserved or were they being a good friend to do that to you?”. We had good talks, albeit the length and depth of the conversation were in my hands when it came to talking about friends. But when I was ready to talk, mom was always there.

So what can you do as a girls minister to help moms that come to you with concerns regarding their daughter not wanting to come to church?
Share with the mom that in this GSI (Girlworld Scene Investigation—what? Too cheesy?! Sorry) you both may need to observe her daughter and ask some key questions to begin to determine the cause behind her change in wanting to be at church.
1. Encourage her to encourage her daughter to keep attending. This is one of the big battles she needs to fight. If this isn’t solved, it’s possible that she will not see church as a welcoming place in the future. It will be painful to tell her daughter she has to go somewhere she doesn’t feel comfortable but this is a prime opportunity for you as girls minister to ease this situation. Offer to the mom to meet the daughter for a coke or coffee talk to “get to know her” or “catch up”. See if the daughter will share with you regarding why she is not wanting to go to church anymore. If there is another group of girls you can introduce her to than the previous group she may have been hanging out with, it may help her feel more open to trying church again. I have found that forcing girls to “work it out” has not been very successful. But creating some new friendship opportunities often times can help out greatly.

2. Ask the mother to ask her daughter what it would take to get her to feel more positive about attending?
Would a friend buffer be an option? (A friend buffer is someone that is a neutral friend who comes to an event to secure that the girl will not be alone) PS don’t use the term friend buffer as this is not a recognized term but merely one that I’ve made up for our use behind the scenes of girls ministry.
3. Encourage the mom to pray for her daughter during this difficult time. She may not be able to find out what’s actually going on, but God is fully aware and is able to work in her heart and the heart of others unlike girls ministers, moms, and volunteers.

These are just some starter options that I would offer if this case scenario were to appear on my doorstep. What about you? What else would you do in this situation?

The night my lesson got erased & taught me something new


This post came out of a draft I wrote several weeks ago. We have the best laid plans as leaders…but what happens when things don’t go the way we thought they would? Keep reading.

I escorted a shiny new volunteer leader to my small group room tonight to sit in on my lesson hoping that she would commit to co-leading with me and falling in love with this group of girls like I had. I ran down to do a quick errand, and returned expecting that the room would be filled with eager teenaged learners. To my dismay, the volunteer said, “I think we’ve been stood-up.” What?! I’ve never had girls not show for my lifegroup! I texted to get some answers, as my ego reeled. I then quickly ushered the new volunteer to a girls group that actually showed up. I quietly returned to my empty room and had some words with God about the lesson I had worked hard to put together. Then, the door opened and one girl walked in. I was seething, and yet she had actually showed up even though she was 13 minutes late. I thought about teaching this one student, but then offered for her to sit in with another group. However, as soon as I offered that option, another set of words came out that I wasn’t expecting. “let’s go talk down in the coffee shop”, I said. As we sat at a table, she began to talk with me about dreams that I would never have heard. And while sitting at that table, I realized that God created space for that time to happen. My lifegroup lesson was not to be for a group of 10, but a group of 2. As I listened, I remembered why I had the best job in the whole world. At this point in our conversation, I received a text asking me to step into a conversation with a student who was experiencing inexplicable grief. I stepped into the conversation midway which caused me to do some catch-up, and wondered how God would prompt me to speak into this difficult moment. The leader was doing a masterful job of following The Spirit’s prompting, and she led me to share a moment from my past that paralleled some of what this young girl was experiencing. I would have missed seeing God at work in that moment too had my group shown up. Tonight, I had a plan. I prepared with that plan in mind. The plan was that this little group of awesome high school girls would show up and be transformed by our amazing last lesson on Experiencing God. But that wasn’t how tonight went. Ironically, I wasn’t supposed to teach on Experiencing God; I was supposed to do it!
God was at work tonight and it reminded me to prepare, but always be looking for how God is at work, and ditch my plans quickly if He’s not there. Thank you God for moving me out of my Lifegroup room tonight to be taught about Your activity.

So what about you? Are you writing your plans in pencil or pen? Are you able to see God when He is working? I hope this post has been encouraging for you as a leader. I hope it causes you to look at your week and ask how you’ve seen God at work in your work. If you haven’t seen Him, are there reasons that you are aware of that may “choke” the spirit’s work? Is there pride? Is there jealousy? Is there busyness? Take some time to celebrate His work in and through you and re-present your plans to Him.

Girlsminister.com Reviews a resource called The Story


In Barnes and Noble, I stumbled across a resource I had not seen before. It’s called, “The Story” by Max Lucado and Randy Frazee. You can find more info about it here
It is definitely not something that I would suggest to replace a student’s bible, but it is a great tool to help students who may not understand how the story of scripture has an over-arching story. Here is the flow of The Story:
1. Creation: The Beginning of Life as We Know It / 1
2. God Builds a Nation / 13
3. Joseph: From Slave to Deputy Pharaoh / 28
4. Deliverance / 42
5. New Commands and a New Covenant / 57
6. Wandering / 69
7. The Battle Begins / 88
8. A Few Good Men . . . and Women /102
9. The Faith of a Foreign Woman / 119
10. Standing Tall, Falling Hard / 127
11. From Shepherd to King / 143
12. The Trials of a King / 160
13. The King Who Had It All / 174
14. A Kingdom Torn in Two / 192
15. God’s Messengers / 202
16. The Beginning of the End
(of the Kingdom of Israel) /217
17. The Kingdoms’ Fall / 229
18. Daniel in Exile / 246
19. The Return Home / 260
20. The Queen of Beauty and Courage / 272
21. Rebuilding the Walls / 287
22. The Birth of the King / 304
23. Jesus’ Ministry Begins / 314
24. No Ordinary Man / 328
25. Jesus, the Son of God / 345
26. The Hour of Darkness / 360
27. The Resurrection / 374
28. New Beginnings / 382
29. Paul’s Mission / 399
30. Paul’s Final Days / 430
31. The End of Time / 451
Here is a discreet video I took while I was in the store. Notice the icons in the bottom of the resource. I thought they were pretty cool and helpful. What are you doing to help students understand the Meta-narrative in Scripture? Have you used The Story in your ministry?

A resource review on The Story; by Max Lucado/ Randy Frazee.

Girlsminister.com backstage Live blogging and Twitter compiling for Secret Church

Girlsminister.com backstage live blogging Secret Church

Girlsminister.com backstage live blogging Secret Church

I didn’t know what to expect tonight. I really didn’t know that I would be back stage live blogging the event. That is something I wished I had thought of before the event was going on. So what you will see in this post is really not a complete liveblog of secret church. However, it is a pretty neat picture of all the conversations going on during secret church and then my best intentions of taking notes during secret church. At one point I did figure out how to turn off the twitter stream and just input notes. Then my ipad died right as David was beginning to talk about Election. ELECTION at 11:18pm?!?! I would never have attempted that, but then again I’m not a pastor named David Platt. He did get a little giddy at times, but I was very impressed that I stayed with him for the whole time. Of course, it was a firehose of biblestudy. No. I wouldn’t even call it biblestudy. It was a seminary class. It was a good seminary class…but it really was that. So here is the embed from Scribblelive…which by the way was my first time using the service and I’m a fan. So here it is…these are just the conversations that were going on…and my attempt of capturing David’s notes starting with salvation. This doesn’t begin from the crucifixion. Enjoy!

“I Can Fly!” Infamous Last Words of a Girls Minister Super Hero…

This past week I had the opportunity to go visit Austin and spend some time on the UT campus to see some pretty cool things that God is doing through RenovateUT.  On the flight out there, I had the pleasure of picking the seat in front of the little boy who was a first time flyer.  As we were preparing for take-off, he mumbled to his mother, “we’re ready. we’re ready.”  Then as we launched into the sky, he said, “I can fly! I can fly!”  As I heard him express this joy in his newly acquired super powers, I took the above picture of the wing that was allowing him to stay “in flight”.   As I looked out at the wing, I couldn’t help but think that this little boy had no idea of all the mechanics that were allowing him to “fly”.

Sometimes, as those who work within ministry, we may find that we have our own “I can fly” statements.  See if any of these statements may have shown up in your time of ministry:

  • “I can do this by myself.”
  • “I don’t need to take a break”
  • “If I don’t do this, no one will be able to”
  • “I can do this better than she can”
  • “They need me”
  • “Only I can reach this girl”
  • “No one talked to me about this, but if they had this would have been better”

Now of course, no one we know would say these statements; out loud. These are the little voices that pop up  during the midst of ministry. Are we  proud of these statements?  Nope. Not in the slightest.  But these statements are indicators that at these moments when these “voices” showed up in ministry, we are as unaware of the actual mechanics allowing us to “minister” as that little boy in the plane who thought he could fly by himself.

So what do we do when we forget that we are incapable of ministering in our own strength?  We need to have accountability people in our life that can ask us the tough questions.  Here are some conversation starters using scripture that you may find helpful to make sure you are relying on His Spirit to drive the ministry He has given you.

1. What are you doing to ensure that you are not choking out the Spirit from moving in and through you?

Zechariah 4:6
“Not by might nor by power but by my Spirit” says the Lord God Almighty

2. Take inventory of how God has gifted you, enabled you, and how you see Him at work in your ministry. Intentional recording of how God is moving is a key means of ensuring that you aren’t the one who is making things happen.

Habakkuk 3:19

The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

3. Take a moment to confess how you’ve seen evidence of  depending on your flesh for your strength.

Jeremiah 17:5
This is what the LORD says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

4.  Now lay before God the dreams, visions, barriers, and situations that you are finding yourself working in this week.  Ask Him to breathe His spirit into all that you lay your hands to, and for Him to guide you as you do them for His glory.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.


A Blog Talk Radio Interview With Amy Pierson On Mentoring Girls

Amy Pierson has become a great friend in ministry. We actually connected through the mygirlsministry.com social network first, and then we officially met at Lifeway’s Girls Ministry Forum in 2010 where we taught conferences next to one another. Amy is a talented author but more than that, she is a friend to me in girls ministry and I love that we share that passion to disciple girls. Here is a radio show interview I did with Amy that was originally aired on the girls ministry network. I hope you enjoy.

Listen to internet radio with girlsminister on Blog Talk Radio

Working With Guys On Church Staff Part 3

Today I’m featuring video interview #3 in my on-going series of interviews that deal with the subject matter of working with guys on church staff. I hope these are helpful to you. I’d love to hear from you about what you’ve learned as you’ve worked with girls on staff or if you are a girls minister, what has been helpful to you from these videos.

Putting off faith conversations until it’s too late


As we begin to prepare for the “Easter Lilies”, as my friend calls those friends who only visit church on Easter, what conversations are you having with those outside the walls of the church? I know it’s really hard sometimes to have conversations with people who don’t know Christ and don’t know you in your official title and responsibility. I know because we can so easily find ourself in the church all day, and by the time we are home, we have not spoken to anyone who is not a Christ follower. I stumbled across this devotional that I wrote in 2007 that reminded me to look for those conversations and to make them happen. What about you? Who pops into your mind that you need to have a conversation with about Christ?

When I was in college, I would spend the summers working at a camp called Centrifuge. I was assigned a camp location and a team that I would minister with for 8-10 weeks. As a staffer, not only did you lead Bible Study for a group of about 20-40 students, but you were also equipped to lead two track times. One of my track times was to lead a “For Girls Only” discussion group. The other track time was known as Messy Games. To be a messy games instructor meant well, that you did some great recreational games that ended with making sure that your participants were thoroughly messy. I was passionate about my responsibilities as a Messy Games Instructor. We played games like Messy games baseball, where every base was a baby pool filled with ooey gooey surprises. We played games like oatmeal slip n slide which was just like a water slide but with oatmeal. And last but not least, we played Cow tongue football which was like ultimate football only with a cow tongue. So as you can see, I took messy games very seriously. So seriously that I had to devote every Tuesday night for a special Messy Games Wal-Mart shopping trip. And because it was camp, there were only certain times when i was able to slip away to do such special shopping due to all the other responsibilities I had. So it turned out that every Tuesday at 10 p.m., I would take my fellow staffer (at the time) Darrel Girardier with me to go to Wal-Mart and shop for several gallons of ketchup, tubs of cooking oil, 10 economy size flour bags, 20 tubs of oatmeal, 50 pair of panty hose, 40 cans of shaving cream and several other large amounts of random items. When you do shopping like this, you are bound to call attention to yourself. For the first 2 weeks, people just looked at us, but before long we noticed that the same people happened to be at Wal-Mart, as us. One clerk started to get brave and ask why we used such weird stuff on a weekly basis. I couldn’t help but notice that a crew of construction guys seemed to lean in a little too close to find out the answers as well.

My answer was to tell them “I am a Dirty Games Instructor.” As the answer came out, I quickly added “for a Christian camp.” It wasn’t exactly what I had expected to say, but my awkward answer begged for additional questions. As the “weird” shopping cart of purchases was going through the scrutiny of the cashier, we began to talk about what each of the games was, and why I was spending my summer away from my home in Illinois to do a camp in Tigerville, South Carolina. The secret was out about our faith and what we were teaching teenagers each week. The cashier was amused and said she would see us again next week.

As the summer progressed, Darrel and I made certain that we went at exactly the same time every Tuesday of the week to go Messy Games shopping. We always made sure to look for our cashier friend and were happy to see she was always at the same register every week. Our conversations would deepen every week as we became a regular with her. She would even make mention if I had added a new element to my cart, and ask what game I intended to play. She began to tell us that she had children and wished they could come to a camp like ours even if they did play weird messy games.

I was called to Tigerville, South Carolina. That was the plan. I was placed there to reach out to hundreds of campers as a Bible study leader and track time leader. But on my way to do what I knew I was called to do, God led me to a Wal-Mart cashier. Every week I had the opportunity to ask her about her relationship with Christ, and every week I would get closer to the question but it was scary to put it out there. Finally the summer was closing, and it was my last week to be the messy games instructor. This was my last opportunity to see my cashier friend. I prayed with Darrel before we left and we had prepared by purchasing a bible with a note explaining God’s story, why it made a difference to our life and how it could make a difference to her. I could feel the adrenaline pulsing as I got ready to tell her that our last night to shop with her was that night, but that we had a gift for her to have. As I reached the regular register, I noticed that our cashier friend was not there. I asked if she was in the store, and they said that she was not. I told the replacement cashier that we had a gift for our cashier friend, and awkwardly handed him the bible. I left the store, with a bittersweet feeling. I knew that God was able to use the note we had left in the bible, but I somehow felt like I had missed a blessing in using my own mouth to say the words I had been saying to teenagers for 8 weeks. Why was it so easy to do when I was labeled a Bible study leader, but so hard to say when I was in a Wal-Mart shopping center? Why did I always think I had another opportunity to tell my cashier friend God loved her and I did too?
I prayed that God brought someone around that cashier friend to help her use the bible we had left. And I prayed that I would be bold enough to not take for granted the conversations God places me in, and think there will be a next time.

In 2 Corinthians 2:14-16, we are reminded that it is not our leading that brings the knowledge of Christ but it is through us. I don’t have an ending to the story of the cashier. She knew I was a Christian. I shared the fact that I was at camp telling people about God’s love. I had some great moments with her laughing at games I would play at that Christian camp. I just missed the opportunity to look her in the eye and tell her that God had brought me here for her as well. We all may have had those moments. You could probably come and tell me yours. You would probably tell me that the fact I left the bible behind was enough, and sometimes that is just what God would have a person do. But it is in the leading of Him that you know the steps you are to take. I had 8 weeks to have that conversation. I knew I was supposed to do it because God was leading, and yet I chose to wait til the last minute.

In Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade. Through us, he brings knowledge of Christ.

Let Him be the leader in your steps as you meet people and share about God’s story in your life. Let God take you from place to place leading the victory parade of sharing His love story to the world. It’s a tough thing to offer your life to Him to use wherever He may want. You may find yourself having conversations with people in the strangest places, but if God is leading—it means He’s already been where you’re headed. And that was one thing I realized a little too late with my Wal-Mart cashier friend.

God I thank you for allowing us to follow where You lead. Thank you for scenting our lives with your salvation, and let us not be afraid to share the sweet fragrance of your love with those we meet. Help us to have boldness to follow your leading. Keep Satan from whispering to us that there will be another day or a better opportunity to do what you have called us to do right now. We ask this is in your name, Amen.

Pastor Mike Glenn Shares About Gifts and Boundaries

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to be a conference leader for Lifeway’s Girls Ministry Forum. The conference I was given was to talk about “working with guys on a church staff”. At first I was supposed to lead this with one of the guys from our staff, but the forum fell on the same weekend as our guys retreat so I knew that would not be happening. So I sat down to prepare for this conference, and realized that video would be a great tool in documenting some clips from these awesome guys I have served almost 9 years with. However, as I sat down in these interviews, I became aware of how important some of these truths were for me to hear personally and then for my girls ministry friends and youth workers. So I have received permission from them to repost those videos here on girlsminister.com. Thanks so much guys! Today is video that comes from my Senior Pastor. It’s his debut here on girlsminister.com and I’m excited that you get to meet him. He has some great things to say about roles, gifting, and boundaries that need to be in place where both genders are involved. Thanks Mike!