I’ve been playing around with a new tool called Homage.  I used it to create an intro video for my request for more lifegroup leaders.  I did this all on an iphone in about 5 minutes.  Check it out here!

One of the small groups I lead is a 7th grade girls group. Wonderful group of girls…but we can’t even get an ice breaker done without subconversation and chatter happening every second.  There are a majority of girls that have something they want to add. There is a minority of girls that sit back and allow the many conversations to wash over them and they get left behind in the chat tide. And then I find myself frustrated that I’m constantly having to corral the conversation. So, last week…we began an excercise in taming our tongues.

Meet our tongue depressors.  This is how they work.

I introduced this as an ice breaker. The girls received a tongue depressor and a label. They could decorate their depressor anyway they wanted as long as they incorporated their real name in the design.  Then I discussed James 3 and how we need to tame our tongue.  I shared that with our group over the weeks, we had become undisciplined in the way we valued other’s words, God’s word, and even the own words that we choose to use.  Instead of considering what we should say, we all were just spouting out words over each other and not having any boundaries.  As a result, we are now going to undergo some tongue taming.  During the bible study time each student will have 5 clips that are given to them on their tongue depressor.  Each student can say whatever they want, but it will cost them a clip.  Now when they toss a clip in, they have the floor until I call on another student or another student tosses in a clip. Reading the scripture out loud when asked does not cost a clip. This was a helpful exercise in instilling boundaries. We were able to actually go deeper in conversation and the girls visibly would shake their heads when they would normally blurt out the first thing that popped in their mouth. You could tell they were beginning to value what was worth saying and what could wait.  Girls that had not talked before were able to enter into the conversation. As they begin to value their words, God’s words, and their own words better…they will get more freedom with our conversations.  This was a difficult thing to implement, but at the end—I got a bunch of the same statements from the girls mouths.  It was the words: Thank You!  What about you? How have you created conversation boundaries?

I’m starting my 12th year in girls ministry at Brentwood Baptist this fall. I’ve had the opportunity to work with some great leaders, great volunteers, and great families over the years. Some of those have stayed for a season, a reason and some seem to be in this for a lifetime.

As I continue serving, I recognize that some have moved on from ministry due to stress or burnout. I’ve recognized even in deeply loved friends who serve in other ministries that they have moved from stress to burnout. It’s so sad to me because it didn’t have to be their story. I have watched stress and burnout cause bright-eyed, passionate people forget a call on their lives and settle for something less than what they were created for just because they didn’t set boundaries…or know how to pace themselves.

I read the below quote from the Dr. Arch Hart, author of Stressed or Depressed (2005, with daughter Dr. Catherine Hart Weber)

Dr. Hart says that there’s a clear distinction between the emotions and feelings associated with stress and those linked to burnout. Here are a few of his insights:

Stress is over engagement; burnout is disengagement.
Stress results in over reacting; burnout results in lack of emotion.
Stress affects our physical energy; burnout affects our motivation and drive.
Stress makes a person tired; burnout makes a person feel hopeless.
Stress produces anxiety disorders like panic and phobias; burnout produces paranoia, isolation, and feelings of worthlessness.

What do you do to handle the stress so it doesn’t lead to burnout?  Don’t swallow it.  Have a plan to surrender it and to take care of your soul regularly.  My church requires we take a day a month for soul care and 5 weeks away every 5 years.  I’ve been able to have a soul care retreat with my discipleship team and last week came off of a ministerial retreat with our church.  I was so thankful for the interruption of my schedule to rest.  I came into the soul care retreat with a terrible cold.  Always a red flag that I’m pushing my body past it’s limits.  I needed time for my soul to catch up with my body.  I know I’m not the only one that needs regular soul care.  So…how bought you?

What’s your plan? Go ahead…get it on the calendar. You have my permission to stop running and rest.   So…Be still. Remember you are not God.  It’s important you remember that–regularly.

Click for further reading on more ways to connect with your daughter.

Here is an intro video from the Leader Kit of Faithful One. Help us get the word out about this resource which comes out May 1st.  #faithfulone